Poor Hubs is sick as a dog, and battling (among other symptoms) digestive gurgling. He's also recovering from a Tough Mudder competition over the weekend, and looks sore everywhere...on top of flu achiness.
Me: You poor thing; you look as awkward as I do lately, trying to maneuver yourself to get comfortable.
*LOUD TUMMY RUMBLE*
Hubs: I think I might have a baby kicking around in here, too.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Pet Names
Pet names have always been, well, interesting at our house. Hubs has a special knack for coming up with bizarre combinations. When he finds one he really likes, it'll stick for a couple weeks.
Without further adieu, I present to you, my newest pet name:
DILL WEASEL.
I did ask for some clarification on whether I am:
a) a furry creature that lives amongst dill
b) some kind of topiary creation made of dill and shaped like a weasel
but we're still awaiting a final ruling on that.
Without further adieu, I present to you, my newest pet name:
DILL WEASEL.
I did ask for some clarification on whether I am:
a) a furry creature that lives amongst dill
b) some kind of topiary creation made of dill and shaped like a weasel
but we're still awaiting a final ruling on that.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Lattice Efficiency
Just making a pie, minding my own business...latticing the top crust.
DH: No, pick up the other piece.
Me: Honey?
DH: Look! Then you only have to fold this one piece back once, instead of those twice. See!?
Me: Honey?
DH: Look!
Me: Honey?
DH: Whaaaaat?
Me: I'm baking a pie. Save your efficiency management for a more worthy task, hmm?
DH: No, pick up the other piece.
Me: Honey?
DH: Look! Then you only have to fold this one piece back once, instead of those twice. See!?
Me: Honey?
DH: Look!
Me: Honey?
DH: Whaaaaat?
Me: I'm baking a pie. Save your efficiency management for a more worthy task, hmm?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
We're Doomed
I come from a family with a whole lot of crazy. My mother's whole side is nuts, and my father's family is pretty pulled together...with the exception of Dad himself. My siblings and I joke that we're waiting for the sanity ball to drop and for us to lose our marbles any day.
Context: In the truck, off for a quick grocery run.
Hubs: (strangely clicking seat belt in and out, and in and out, and in and out.)
Me: (eyebrow raised, and waiting for explanation)
Hubs: I've started to notice that I have OCD tendencies when I get really tired. I like to get that really satisfying "click" just right. I do the same with putting the lid back on my chapstick.
Me: Wow. Who would have thought that between the two of us, you're the one closer to the borderline of a psychotic break. Nice, honey.
Context: In the truck, off for a quick grocery run.
Hubs: (strangely clicking seat belt in and out, and in and out, and in and out.)
Me: (eyebrow raised, and waiting for explanation)
Hubs: I've started to notice that I have OCD tendencies when I get really tired. I like to get that really satisfying "click" just right. I do the same with putting the lid back on my chapstick.
Me: Wow. Who would have thought that between the two of us, you're the one closer to the borderline of a psychotic break. Nice, honey.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
He Knows His Matthew McConaughey
Context: Flipping through the 800 channels, admiring the sweet free HBO we have for 3 months. (P.S. Everyone with UVerse should just call and ask for promos all the time. Hubs does it regularly, and they always give us goodies. It's bizarre, but I like it.) I stumble across "How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days", which seems like good background as I work.
Me: Oh, honey, you just missed Kate Hudson naked.
Hubs: I'd do her. But I doubt it. No way you saw anything.
Me: Well, yeah, she had them pressed up against him.
Hubs: So this is the scene where he takes her out to his parents' place in Staten Island. (as a statement, not a question.)
Me: I think you're confusing your movies. He takes her home to his parents place in Failure to Launch, and it's Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hubs: Are you questioning my memory?
Me: About Matthew McConaughey movies? If I were to ever make a challenge, it seems like this would be a valid time to bet against you, yes.
Hubs: He LIVES with his parents in Failure to Launch! How can he take someone to his parents if that's his home?
Me: Okay...you're making me second guess myself...
Hubs: You should know better than question my memory.
In retrospect, I underestimated the power of Kate Hudson to burn a romcom into his long-term memory. We probably haven't see this movie in 7 years. But she's his listed blonde. Meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey doesn't make my Top 10. Explains this whole confusion right there.
Me: Oh, honey, you just missed Kate Hudson naked.
Hubs: I'd do her. But I doubt it. No way you saw anything.
Me: Well, yeah, she had them pressed up against him.
Hubs: So this is the scene where he takes her out to his parents' place in Staten Island. (as a statement, not a question.)
Me: I think you're confusing your movies. He takes her home to his parents place in Failure to Launch, and it's Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hubs: Are you questioning my memory?
Me: About Matthew McConaughey movies? If I were to ever make a challenge, it seems like this would be a valid time to bet against you, yes.
Hubs: He LIVES with his parents in Failure to Launch! How can he take someone to his parents if that's his home?
Me: Okay...you're making me second guess myself...
Hubs: You should know better than question my memory.
In retrospect, I underestimated the power of Kate Hudson to burn a romcom into his long-term memory. We probably haven't see this movie in 7 years. But she's his listed blonde. Meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey doesn't make my Top 10. Explains this whole confusion right there.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
You Don't Want Our Problems
Context: He ran a marathon two days ago. I'm pregnant. Both of these things take a physical toll on one's body, sometimes in bizarre ways.
Hubs: (shouting from the next room) HEY! WANNA COMPARE NIPPLES?
I have a feeling this is one of the posts that will get me in the most trouble when he finally discovers this blog! muahahahaha.
Hubs: (shouting from the next room) HEY! WANNA COMPARE NIPPLES?
I have a feeling this is one of the posts that will get me in the most trouble when he finally discovers this blog! muahahahaha.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Like Ron Jeremy in the 70's
Context: Trip to the OB this morning, for an anatomy ultrasound. Little MAN, as it turns out, shows his nether-region quite cooperatively. Me, trying to solicit a reaction:
Me: SO! A BOY! How 'bout that?!
Hubs: Yep!
Long pause...
Hubs: What?
Me: People are going to ask about your reaction, and I'm going to have to tell them "Yep".
Hubs: What do you WANT from me, WOMAN!?
Me: Nothing! Nothing.
Hubs: Then you tell people to go *elicit response edited for content* themselves!
These are the memorable moments that make scrapbooking an impossibility for our family. They just don't make stickers that express quite the right sentiment.
Me: SO! A BOY! How 'bout that?!
Hubs: Yep!
Long pause...
Hubs: What?
Me: People are going to ask about your reaction, and I'm going to have to tell them "Yep".
Hubs: What do you WANT from me, WOMAN!?
Me: Nothing! Nothing.
Hubs: Then you tell people to go *elicit response edited for content* themselves!
These are the memorable moments that make scrapbooking an impossibility for our family. They just don't make stickers that express quite the right sentiment.
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